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If I Were A Whore, My Ex Says I'd Be Cheap
Monday, January 12, 2004
"I'm thinking of calculating the money I spend per month on my girlfriend and somehow dividing it by the number and quality of sex acts we perfom a month. If this proves to be more expensive than professional escorts, I'm considering dumping her, although I'm nervous and inexperienced ordering an escort." (From Group Hug.)
Man, if I did that it'd be like I found some kind of illegal loophole.
What do you mean?
The IRS would roast my ass.
Hehe, they so would.
Because . . . the quality and quantity of our sex divided by how much I spent on you? It's a fucking liquidation sale.
Wow. That makes me feel so good.
Are you serious?
I mean . . . I didn't spend SHIT but the quality and quantity was insane. It's like a clearance wholesale bargain.
Oh, thanks very much. I feel cheap AND dumb now.
Shut it.

Moral of the story folks: I need to charge by the minute.

Posted at 08:18 pm by Deanna.

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